Today

Today was great. Truly. I went out with my best friend, G, and had a blast. We spent the good part of the day together, just hanging out, running errands and giggling.

The highlights of the day were: making cookies, meeting "Sarie" and bringing her home, eating at GD's (G's daughter) work Christmas party, and bringing my stuff home.

Sarie is a pitbull that I'm thinking of introducing into my happy family. I'm really starting to like her. She seems calm, quiet, and a bit protective. She doesn't seem aggressive, but I can tell that she has been taught to fight.

When G and I drove up to the house we were a little uncertain. It was the epitome of all that is redneck, up to and including the cars on blocks in the front yard. We weren't sure what to expect of the house, the people, or the kind of dogs these people would keep. Upon knocking and entering, we found 2 pitbulls. One had scars all over his head and shoulders... making him an obvious fighter in his younger years. The other was smaller than the male, and in good condition. She had no scars and looked healthy. She does look like she's had more than on litter of puppies, so my guess is that she was a breeder female who simply got too old to be used anymore. She is, now, spayed. Neither of the dogs went crazy with barking, which made me happy. Although Sarie growled at us when we were introduced to her, she seemed to warm up. So we brought her home.

Being as the owner of Sarie had mentioned that they 'bred and trained pitbulls' it was completely obvious what they did to support themselves.

They breed and train fighter pitbulls for sale. Kinda sad, really.

On top of all this, after being there for a couple minutes, two men and another younger woman came out of a back room. How obvious could they be, right? I've seen it more than once in my life.

They were in the back room getting high, and when they heard voices that didn't sound like a threat, they came out to investigate.

Sarie comes from a house full of stoners. Wonderful.

We brought her home anyway on the premise that if she doesn't work out I can take her back. Bear and Sarie have had a couple of little tiffs (that's how I found out Sarie really knows how to fight) but they are doing alright. Bear's quite protective over me, but Sarie seems to be affectionate. She's already licked my face and starts her tail to wagging when I talk to her and give her attention. I'm really starting to like her, actually.

Onto other things....

I think the biggest thing on my mind right now is that C and I still haven't spoken to each other. I know his birthday is coming up on the 13th and that he isn't really looking forward to turning 31. I'm starting to get worried about him. We had been talking every day, than the talking kinda slowed down to every other day. It's been 4 days since we've spoken. On top of that this will be the 3rd week that we haven't seen each other face to face. The last time we talked, he didn't seem upset or angry with me, and we didn't hang up on a sour note, so I'm starting to wonder if I did something to anger him (which I doubt), if he's getting a cold, or if his turning 31 is bothering him much more than he let on.

People in my life tend to not be good to me, so this is really weighing on my mind. I do admit, though, that I tend to over-think things. My thinking too much fucks me up and as much as I hate that I can't seem to change it about myself.

Let's see, what other things happened today...?

I tried putting together a bedframe this evening. It's missing 2 pieces that is keeping it from working properly. I'm a little frustrated, because having my bed sit on the floor is a little frustrating. Actually, not having a lot of things in this house that I need is a little frustrating. I know that, eventually, I'll have everything I need to make this house a home, but the transition time is frustrating for me. After 6 long years of feeling like I've done nothing but slave away I realize that I don't have a lot to show for what I've done. Sometimes I just feel like things aren't getting any better for me, although I know logically they are.

Needless to say, tonight is one of those times. I haven't taken my anti-depressant yet tonight because I was drinking earlier. I have good days and bad days. Tonight just happens to be a bad night. Tomorrow I'll go back to being my generally hopeful self. ... I will be posting an im that The ex and I are having as I type this.. I'm a little too upset right now to continue this post.