What I Need

It's become very clear to me here lately just how much I really need open communication. Not simple chatting, mind you, but open communication regarding where a relationship is going or not going, whatever the case may be.

I've also realized that I'm quite a bit more needy than I once thought. I've been alone most of my life, and having been alone I've realized that I don't want to be, anymore. I want to share my experiences with someone. I want to go places and do things and I want to have someone with me.

All in all I don't think I've been very fair to C. It's not like I've communicated these issues with him. How can I expect him to know what's going on if I don't tell him?

C and I really need to sit down and talk about where things are going, if anywhere. Our lack of communication is really bothering me. Lack of communication is one of the main reasons the ex and I started having problems within our relationship.

I don't like feeling like I can't talk about what's on my mind, especially with the person I choose to see. What's the point in being with someone if you can't share all of yourself? Why do I feel the need to hide who I am, anyway?

Then there's the ongoing situation with E. E came over for a visit Thursday evening around 8pm and ended up not leaving until around 7pm Friday evening. Nothing really happened, but we had some nice conversation. The conversations I don't have with C I did have with E. We talked about where we've been in our past relationships, and where we want to go in new ones. We talked about our likes and dislikes and our expectations. We sat, drank coffee, and enjoyed each other's company.

Why can't C and I have quality time like that?

Ugh. Relationships are confusing!! I think I'll change the subject!

Sara and Bear are getting along much better, now. Although Bear still gets a little tempermental, he's starting to try to play with her. Sara's got about as much energy as Bear does, so them playing is a good thing. Now if I could just get Bear to stop being so protective over me things will be perfect. Considering I've only had Sara for a week I think things are going along rather nicely.

I kinda lost the urge to write, so I'll leave off for now.