2nd.

It's official. Sara now has ear mites. I don't know what she had before, but she definetly has ear mites now... so I'm treating her for that. She's been on Benadryl for her itchy skin and she's getting vaseline on her paws to help keep them from drying out so badly... even though she licks the vaseline off almost as soon as I get it on. I'm also putting lotion on her paws... I figure between the lotion and the vaseline she's eventually going to get her paws back into shape so that she doesn't lick them until they bleed.

The only thing I haven't done for Sara just yet is bathe her. To be honest I'm a little scared to. She's a rather strong dog, and I'm not sure if she's ever been bathed before. I'm very tempted to take her to a groomer, tell them to have fun, and come back a few hours later to see if they succeeded. ... I'm not sure that's such a good idea either, though, even if G thinks it would be hilarious to see how the groomers look after having dealt with her.

Needless to say Sara's almost the most medicated dog I've ever had, second only to Luna; a Borzoi I had who got parvo when she was little and almost didn't survive.

G says I'd make a terrible mom... judging by how I treat my dogs, she suspects my kids would either be spoiled rotten but well behaved or just plain spoiled rotten.

Anyway, this weekend has been really nice, even if it was just a weekend spent at home. I spent tons of time on the phone with E... he seems truly serious about his promise to sweep me off my feet. I'm going to let him. Why not? I need to have someone sweep me off my feet at least once in this lifetime.

I talked to my mom yesterday for a few minutes. She's living in Albuquerque, having a hard time of it. The divorce isn't going well (go figure.. it's my step dad he's never one to let things go easily...) and she's always completely broke. My step dad won't let her have any of the many vehicles he's collected, so she's walking to work. She's working as a waitress in a truck-stop diner, hardly bringing enough home to pay bills, let alone eat. She's paying the same amount in rent as I am, yet she lives in a tiny one room apartment that doesn't allow pets. It's sad, really.

She's a 53 year old woman who's hasn't worked a day in the last 23 years... and yet here I am, almost feeling sorry for her. She practically has nothing. This woman, who never stood up for me, who never gave me the skills necessary to be a successful adult, has less than I do.

Part of me wonders if she never gave me the skills I needed because she never really had them herself. It's not really a good excuse, but if it's the truth, than I should learn to accept it for what it is. She is who she is, and don't I pride myself on accepting people for who they are, regardless of their past??

I've always had conflicting emotions about my mother. Part of me feels she's getting everything she deserves for the way she treated my sisters and I. Yet part of me feels that she is human, like the rest of us. I am very lucky to be able to see the areas in my life that need improvement... not everyone can see that. Maybe she is one that can't. Where I might never truly 'love' my mother, at least now I don't truly 'hate' my mother either.

Maybe this is a step in the right direction for gaining some control and forgiveness for what happened to me as a child. Maybe not.. either way, what happens in the future is what is meant to happen in the drama of my life.

Your Birthdate: August 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count. You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing. Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time. You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything. Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic Your power color: Pine green Your power symbol: Circle Your power month: September