Last Year.

One year ago today, about this same time, I sat in front of this same computer.

I was working for Choice Hotels, taking calls from home while playing around on the internet. I looked up at the clock, saw it was after midnight, and silently wished myself a happy birthday.

I was alone. I was sad.

Though I had split up from my ex I still lived in the same place with him. We shared the same bed, though we didn't sleep together. We shared the same phone, the same food, the same living quarters just as we had when we were together. We slept different schedules.We talked to different people. We hardly spoke except to yell at each other for past offenses and present annoyances.

This time I'm not sitting alone. I'm not sad. I don't live in the same place, or even anywhere near to my ex.

I sleep with a different man. I speak when I want to speak, do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I don't have to yell or scream to be heard. I laugh. I enjoy myself.

This time last year I was miserable.

Now, I'm happy.

JM and I are well. Later today his mom is going to come by and take us out. We'll probably go shopping for awhile then go out to eat. We'll talk about mundane things, laugh over silly jokes and look like every day normal people.

I don't feel normal. I feel like for the first time in my life not only am I free, but I'm happy. There isn't one aspect of my life that truly makes me unhappy.

One year to heal past hurts. One year to learn that I don't have to give up on who I am to be with someone I love.

One year....



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